In any case, it dawned on me that a few months back I had the privilege of appearing on EWTN’S “The Choices We Face” and that the show is airing for the first time tonight; and in case you were flipping channels and decided to watch the show which could possible lead you to check out my website, I would want you to read something current about what God is doing in our lives these days.

When Joey finished his contract with Dirty Vagabond Ministries, we took at job as parish missionaries in a small town outside of Pittsburgh. We work with high school teens, young adults, and parish life in general. There is something about getting to be part of the rhythm of a parish and the sacraments that steadies my soul, and I hope my life is always that way. It is a simple, quiet place and a time for us as a young family to learn what it is to hope in Christ in every situation. We found out recently that we are expecting number two! The baby is fifteen months old, so that will make our kids about two years apart. Life as a mom with a toddler is like a non-stop obstacle course. I never knew the meaning of “busy” until now.

We live about 45 minutes from Steubenville, so we are able to stay involved with Dirty Vagabond and our community there. We miss being a part of the daily functions of the ministry. I look back on that time and see how God did a major healing in my life through a bunch of street kids. There was a time when I felt like I couldn’t hear God’s voice. I was disillusioned and in darkness. I think it’s something we are bound to go through on a real walk with Christ. During that time, the one thing I felt I heard Him say was that my healing would come through working with the poor. Being involved with Dirty Vagabond changed my life completely. And it wasn’t that spending time with these kids who had so little made me grateful for what I had. It was that spending time with them made me realize how meaningless everything I have or aspire to have really is. It’s everything that Jesus came to say and do. He came to open heaven for us so that we could hope in eternity with Him, knowing that everything here is passing away.

It’s a quiet summer for me. I am taking the time to spend with my little family and there is nothing more I want. I’m still writing songs and my wheels are spinning about a new record and other musical ventures. But, for now I am chasing a kid, changing diapers, and plugging my nose at every corner because the smell of anything makes me want to vomit. Oh, sweet pregnancy…thanks for your support, love and prayers. God bless! ~KPL

This summer has been the beginning of a whole new era for me… ministry with kids. I don’t mean ministering to kids; I mean doing ministry while a baby with my fat cheeks and my husband’s blue eyes is screaming his head off in the team room. I have been running off of stages across the great state of Louisiana to feed my child and if I didn’t stop to talk to you on the way I am so sorry. I am still figuring all of this out. And in the figuring this is what I realize: life in Christ… it works. It works because God told someone to give us a free mini-van. It works because the sweetest lady ever offered to hold my baby while I gave a talk. It works because it’s God’s economy and everything is giving. Everything is gift. Everything is generosity.

The idea in my head is this: everything I thought was victory and everything I thought was defeat was really all the generosity of God. Every time I had a broken heart, God in His generosity was preparing me for more. This is a season of seeing the “more”. In a prayer time during worship at one of the conferences this summer I thought, “Thank you God for loving me enough to take away what I thought I wanted in order to give me what I really wanted.”

Waiting on the Lord is where it’s at, yall (said in a Paula Deen voice). Don’t be discouraged. If it didn’t work out like you thought it would, remember His generosity and that it’s not always packaged the way you expect it to be. I would rather be on the floor, by the crib, in the dark than anywhere else in this whole universe and I am only here because He is generous!! Generosity is cool… spread the word. ~KPL

So, somewhere in the middle of being pregnant, having heartburn, and being unable to see my feet, I decided to make a new record. Now. be forewarned: this is a ghetto cd. It is ghetto in 3 ways. 1) I recorded it in the ghetto (downtown Steubenville). 2) I drew the cover design on the inside of a cracker barrel bag. 3) It features Righteous B. I am probably more proud of this project than anything I have ever done. For a while, I didn’t know what would happen with my music… I still don’t know. But, at seven months pregnant, the time felt right to do something new. I had five songs I felt good about and added a sixth at the tail end. I guess it’s just something I will always hold close to my heart because I did it at such a sacred time in my life. I was carrying my son. His feet were in my rib cage and his head was on my bladder. It was a blast! And if it weren’t that way, the album wouldn’t be what it is: a simple set of songs that God put on my heart… about my marriage and my baby and the fact that there isn’t anything outside of God’s generosity. There isn’t anything that matters outside of His kingdom coming down. So, I’m really really really excited about it… really blessed to have the opportunity… really happy to be alive… and really crazy for not sleeping while my ten-week-old sleeps. The album will be at all the conferences I am doing this summer and eventually on my website. The sun’s coming up, everybody. So, eat your wheaties and have a great day! ~KPL

This time last week, I was cleaning my house incessantly in an instinct they call “nesting”. My mom had been camped out here anxiously awaiting his arrival. Later that day, Joey picked up my dad from the airport and, to my surprise (best surprise ever!) my cousin/sister Lindsey and her little girl. I felt officially ready. The troops were in place, bags packed, and every corner of my life had been disinfected twice and washed in dreft!

On Wednesday, I had mexican with my best pal, the one and only Kate. Next, my doctor’s appointment. When she told me in the office that I could check into the hospital and we could get this started asap, I almost started crying. I still can’t believe she said that. I was shocked! So, we hit McDonald’s before we checked in and even though they told me I shouldn’t drive, being that I was in labor and all, I told them to talk to the hand cause the face wasn’t listening. You know how it is.

The next hours were waiting, hospital gowns, needles, contractions, friends and family all on the cusp of everything changing. At 11:41 that night he came. My husband could not stop laughing–not like a funny joke kind of laughing–but the joy of heaven kind. I’ve never seen him like that. I, of course, could not stop sobbing and that is still the case. I never could have imagined what this felt like and I have never been in love like this. This child really has brought a little piece of heaven to us.

We stare at him constantly. Everything he does amazes us and makes us laugh. And all he really does is eat, sleep, and dirty diapers! And it is just as everyone said: up all night, no sleep, running on empty, etc. I just didn’t factor in how happy all of it would make me. He really is the best.

All that is on my heart is that in every situation, big and small, happy and sad, I see that God is calling out to me. Like with the baby, He is asking, “will you let me love you?” Sometimes when the baby is asleep, he kind of smiles, and I know everyone says it’s gas. But, I think of it being a look that says, “lady, you have no idea what God is going to do through me.” It makes me excited. Already, we are so changed by this new love. I wish I had words to describe it all in a way that was relatable. I think it must be what people refer to as “bliss”. I haven’t showered or slept in two days and my body aches all over. But this kind of fulfillment…pure bliss. Pray for our family please! Peace! ~KPL

I’m not sure why the readings I heard at mass today weren’t the ones listed for the fifth Sunday of Lent in my Sunday Missal. Maybe it has to do with the scrutinies. In any case, they spoke to my heart in a way that made me want to write. The gospel was the story of Lazarus when Jesus proclaims Himself as the resurrection and the life.

I had a string of simple thoughts that made everything seem so clear. It is so fitting that the Eucharist is called the source and summit of our faith because it’s like everything really does rest right there on the table. Everything we are, have been, and hope to be is wrapped up in this mystery: the Eucharist; the celebration of the life, death and resurrection of Christ, our Savior. That Jesus is the resurrection is the only thing that matters. Every other thing in this world pales in comparison to who He is and what He can do. He promises to raise us up on the last day and it almost makes me feel in a strange way like nothing here even matters. The things we worry and want for are as nothing in light of the truth of redemption. I am reminded of His bigness and of the fact that what seems impossible to me is completely possible for Him. He has the power to resurrect the parts of us that are broken and the people dead in their sin.

I don’t really know how to flesh out the beauty of it and I guess that’s what all who believe have been trying to do for the past 2,000 years. I just know that I am so safe in the reality of Jesus as the resurrection and the life, and so so so grateful that my son will be born into this all-encompassing truth. He is everything.

Pray for me, for my husband and the baby! More news to come…~KPL

It has been a long nine months. And then sometimes it seems to have flown by. We have been so blessed as a newly married couple to be part of some amazing things in this city. Eleven of our teens from Dirty Vagabond are becoming Catholic this Easter. And there are new waves of teens coming in all the time. It feels like the highest privilege to quietly witness the hand of God moving someone’s heart. The important thing for all of these kids and for us, I think, is that we are part of a family journeying to heaven together. It’s easy to forget that that is the real reality we are living in. That’s what it is all about.

And then somewhere in the middle of all this, I have been recording a new album to be released this summer. Pretty weird timing, I know. I ate so many baked potatoes in the studio I almost turned into one. And I had to pee about every five minutes. So it made for some interesting sessions. But, it’s just a batch of new songs that have been on my heart. Simple as that.

I miss home still, but it is getting sunny here and the snow is melting. Living in Ohio makes me really really love spring. Stay tuned for updates…I have nothing to do over the next two weeks but think of ways to coax this child into the world. Pray for me! ~KPL

I actually really really really love the fall and am hoping it comes back some time soon. For someone who did not grow up with changing leaves, apple orchards, or an actual need for a good windbreaker it is all very exciting. Season changes mark the passing time so well. They establish good memories and shifts in your life. Last year I was working at a school, living with a friend, planning a wedding. This year I am….brace yourselves….four months pregnant! That’s right, folks: married for five, pregnant for four, and so our lives go.

Needless to say, Joey and I are incredibly excited. As scary as coming into adulthood has been, I have to say that it has also been a series of little revelations of what the real adventure of my life will prove to be: loving my husband, raising my family, heading together towards heaven. It is all much sweeter than I imagined it would be. I have dreams almost every night about this baby. In most of them, she is a girl. In one of them, she came out as a toddler. Let’s pray that does not happen.

I am so thankful for the ways God has attached me to Himself in this journey; and for the ways He has shown me, in spite of my misguided perceptions, that real success is loving Him and being known in Him above and beyond anything else I thought it was. Not everything becomes clear in relationship with God. But, what is always present in Him is abundant life that is ours to have.

Many of you know and have followed all that has happened with our friend Bob Lesnefsky (www.prayfortheb.com). He and his wife are the kind of people that make your life one-hundred percent better just by being in it. If you have ever spent even a short amount of time with either of them, you know that for yourself. I could go on about it, but suffice it to say, there are no two people in this world like Bob and Kate. He is doing so much better and they have said to us again and again how difficult it will be to express all the gratitude they feel for all the support they have received. A lot of kids in our ministry and people who are generally concerned have asked why something like this would happen to someone like Bob. I think God has utmost patience for and even loves our moments of deep questioning. But, I just wanted to say: being able to watch their family walk through this has confirmed what I knew was true about God. He is always present. I have no idea why things happen or why my friends are struggling through such a burden; but I see them still loving their children and each other, still hoping, still laughing, reaching out to those around them and I know that that is the presence of God in their lives. There is no other way to be sustained in this world.

So, thanks for your prayers and be encouraged. In everything, He is there. “He goes before all things and in Him all things hold together” (Colossians 1:17). Peace! ~KPL

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It’s the fresh and refreshed experiences in life that make you feel like you really do have one (a life, i mean). I still can’t put to words my thoughts on marriage and the changes my course has taken here in the last few weeks, but I can say this. I love my husband’s ability to pull me into the moment. That part of his person is essential to me. I sometimes struggle to be present. I am so caught up in what I am doing, what I am not doing, what I think I should be doing, the reasons I feel I am not doing whatever it is I think I could or should be doing. And he’s the one to say, “hey- let’s go to a drive in movie.” And then I am sitting in a lawn chair in the middle of a field in a tiny town in Ohio watching “Night at the Museum” and eating a literal tub of popcorn. And I am in the moment and happy to be… I remember it’s the only place there really is. This afternoon we sat in a patch of grass between the back of our apartment building and the alley in our bathing suits, trying to ignore the dumpster, playing music, and talking about our lives. It is good to plan and good to dream, but today, sitting in the grass is my life. Moral of the story: Don’t miss what’s happening around you because you are trying so hard to figure it all out. I am thinking that all things will get figured and all we really have to work with is right now. Go to a drive-in. Eat a candy apple. Chase down the ice cream truck. You will thank me in the morning. Peace! ~KP

At the moment, I am sitting in an elementary school classroom. It’s the classroom I have worked in for the past year and a half. A lot of you probably don’t know this, but I spent a short stent on a Christian record label in Nashville. I signed the deal my senior year of college and I thought that was that. My plan was set. It’s funny…when I picture myself as a kid, I realize that I just believed I would grow up and become famous somehow. Signing a record deal felt like it was that simple. I saw in my mind my songs on the radio, being on big-name tours, and lots of glamorous photo shoots. There is so much I could say about what it has been like for me living through the early twenties of my life. I have been so surprised (what do you mean, I’m 20 and I’m not famous yet?!?) by the changes of “plan”. I guess what I would like to write most in the big scheme of things is all I have found in learning to go with the flow.

After about two years, I split from the label in a little bit painful (mostly hurt pride), but very necessary moment of change in my life. I had been continuously writing, travelling, and recording my music just as I do now. But, I had also done a few other things I had not planned on up to this point: worked in a pottery shop, at a restaurant, sold kool-aid full time for a while (I kid, I kid) waiting for fame and fortune to magically arrive. Things were happening that hadn’t been part of my said plan and I was realizing how much of my soul had been comsumed by my idea of success and meaning and by the plan itself. You know that I moved to Ohio, you know that I met a man, you know that I became invested in a ministry that has changed everything I thought I knew about success and happiness. But, something else really providential happened in my life at that point that I want to share with you.

I, Kelly Pease, got a real-life job teaching music in a Catholic Elementary School. Now, keep in mind that my plan for my life was insta-fame. I never imagined that I would undergo the pains of the responsibility that come with being a normal human being. I mean, hello?!? Have you seen all of my stage clothes?? Do you know how cool I am?? (Hopefully, you are hearing the undertones of sarcasm as I ridicule my own vanity…but, seriously…have you seen my stage clothes?) But, I needed a job because I needed to eat and also because God had a new abundance of life He needed to give me.

So, I wake up at 6 to leave my house at 7 to get to work by 8. I sing songs with six-year olds like “Father Abraham” and “If You’re Happy and You Know It”. I teach the values of quarter notes and half notes. We clap rhythms and take tests and name the lines and spaces on the staff. It’s more than a hop, skip, and a jump away from having a multi-platinum record. And not because it is far away from so-called “fame”, but because it has been a part of the good God’s plan for me, has it brought me closer to the person I want to be; the one I am when no one is watching.

There are so many things I still don’t know about the plan. I do know that God has given me gifts I want to use in whatever way He sees fit. And I also know that being exactly where He is holding me in each moment of every part of His plan is success. It is abundant life. I can’t say enough about how fulfilling it has been to see those kids singing the mass parts or how it sounds when a ten year old prays, “I cast all my cares upon You!” The simplicity and detachment from the world I have witnessed in their lives at this point in mine is just what the doctor ordered.

More than anything, I am moved by the way that God loves me, that He would show me in such intimacy what He meant when He told us to be like little children. I love witnessing the joy they take in the things I often care so little for and how little they care for what I thought was so important. I like being the music teacher at St. Alexis Catholic Elementary School. I like that God really does have a plan for me and for the continual restoration of my soul. I don’t believe there is a right and wrong way to serve Him, but I have learned that His idea of how we do that is often different than ours and always so much better.

I don’t know if I have communicated what I wanted to say. But, I have a class of second graders playing “heads up seven-up” so I have to run. But, the bottom line is: trust the plan He has for you. Don’t get too wrapped up in your own idea of success or in the ways you think you have failed. Oftentimes, there is a victory in store you wouldn’t have recognized as a victory had God not re-routed your path to begin with. And take comfort in the truth that all we think we have lost and won is held in the heart of God and all He has for us there is love. Peace! ~KP

It’s been a whirlwind of a few weeks and this past weekend I had the pleasure of leading worship for a group of women in Houma with my friends Audrey Assad and Julie Sellers. Praying with women is a beautiful thing… especially such lovely ladies as these! I drove to my parents house late Saturday night, struggling to keep my eyes open, so that I could wake up the next morning and prepare for that most feminine of events: the wedding shower!!!! FYI: I am getting married in two months! How can you not have fun when all your closest friends are together AND you get to dress up AND there is a table filled with sugary treats and coffee AND you get to open presents?!?!? I love the person who came up with this idea. All in all the weekend was filled to the brim with something that I treasure so: sisterhood.

I have learned over the years that the monsters of jealous rivalry between women are threats against the possibilities there are for the growth of God’s kingdom that come about when women stand together in support of and admiration for one another; when we go to bat for one another instead of competing; when we see the love God has for us AND for our sisters in Him; when we acknowledge that the gifts He has given to this girl or that girl are not a threat, but an asset to our team!

Now keep in mind that I am in the homestretch of planning a wedding, so I am on emotional overdrive. Beyond it actually. I have been thinking of this my whole life. I simply could not imagine what it would be like. There were times I doubted any of this could or would happen. Then I looked up and realized that God actually DOES have a plan and it is just as He says: far more than I could have asked or imagined. All of that being said, I can be seen weeping at any place or time… airports, restaurants. It is really quite humorous. It’s a time when you retrace the path that lead you here, reflecting on all that it has been in a sort of preparation for moving forward. So, knowing my love of sisterhood and emotional state, you can imagine what I look like right now as I try to remark on the incredible women in my life. I have friends who have known me from childhood through my clumsy and embarrassing moments of adolescence and on. We have lived side by side through the scariest and most sad moments of our lives to date. We have laughed and celebrated every birthday, every achievement, every exciting thing from a first kiss to getting engaged. I have cousins who are like sisters. They have known me from my first day on the earth and have treasured me, keeping me in their hearts, reinforcing at every moment that I have value simply because I am. I have friends who have come like surprises later in life… girls who have made it a mission to know me truly. They remind me who I am when I get confused and teach me things I really need to know, everything from how to make coffee to how to find healing in Christ. I have attachments of the heart that simply cannot be measured by words and this has made my life so full.

But the moment in the weekend that will always be timeless to me was taking my grandmother into the back room of the house and showing her my wedding dress. She is eighty-three. She raised six kids, twenty grandchildren, twenty great-grandchildren, and always a few on the way. She was a young bride once herself. She held my mother in her arms. She held me in her arms. And maybe she will hold a child of mine one day. It seems like the most base of all things in life, the simple truth and yet so complex: time marches on. It keeps its secrets locked up in the past and future. There is nothing you can do to speed it up or slow it down. The stories time has given the women in our lives to tell… what they haven’t felt or seen or experienced… all the things they thought they couldn’t do that one day they just did because they had to for their children and their families… the transformations in their hearts because of the recklessness of the love that had grown there. I don’t think it could ever all be put into words. But, I do think there are tiny pieces of time that hold still and remain as though they are always new. Standing in the closet with my grandmother and my wedding dress was like seeing the hands of the past and of the present grasp and interlock fingers. Everything feels at once all so spread apart and held together. I am so happy to be her granddaughter. And all you girls: talk to your aunts and grandmothers, mothers and sisters, cousins and friends… there is a piece of your understanding of yourself and the world you live in hidden in their hearts.

Now seriously… that was good advice. I should have a talk show. Peace! ~KP